In memory of Clover

We lost another guinea pig last week. Clover had been ill with a whole variety of problems for over a year, so it didn't come as any great surprise. The medicine that had been keeping her alive aggravated one of her conditions to an extent where she just couldn't recover. She was a really affectionate guinea pig and will be greatly missed. She had also lost her two closest companions (Molly and Daisy) so I think she probably didn't have a lot to keep her going against the odds.

Strange thing is, I didn't feel anything when she died. Possibly because I had been expecting it for so long. We buried her in the back garden with the other pets we had lost recently and performed a small funeral ceremony. For some reason, I decided to sing a favourite scripture of mine, "Adoration of the Buddha's relics". It's a lovely, if complex, tune and is entirely appropriate for a funeral. That's when the tears started! I struggled through the whole scripture. My wife thought at first that the wavery bits in the singing were how it was supposed to sound. Anyway, we both agreed that we felt much better after the ceremony. There was something very appropriate about the whole thing.

It has been a few weeks since I last posted. This probably reflects what has been going on in real life. I feell like I have been asleep. Winter often gets to me but this year it didn't really kick in until the tail end. Not that I have felt particularly depressed, more like I was just lying dormant waiting for something. And now it's happened. Spring has started! OK, so it's still quite cold here, certainly colder than it normally is at this time of year, but there is more light and the sun has been shining a lot.

This weekend we will be having a Segaki ceremony at the Priory. Amongst other things, this is an appropriate time to remember those who died recently. There have been quite a few in the last few months and I welcome the opportunity to remember them.

Gingerpig

In the short time since I have started this blog, I have said very little about my wife other than providing a link to her own blog. I haven't made a conscious decision to omit her although there is a sort of a reason for not saying much about her.

Understand that I love my wife very much and our lives overlap considerably as you would expect with any married couple. The thing is that I intend this blog to be a record of my training, or at least that part of it that I want to make public. Gingerpig's blog is likewise a record of hers. And of course, part of that training is living with Gingerpig and with her practice.

We are both Buddhists but in different traditions. We have "compared notes" on numerous occasions and the fundamentals of our practice are very similar. I don't have any issue with the form of Buddhism that she practices and I don't see it as inferior or superior to my own. What I do see is that Soto Zen suits the kind of person I am and I'm sure that Gingerpigs practice suits her. We have both also been blessed to find the right teacher to suit us.

When we got married, we saw the wedding ceremony as a vow to train together. In fact, that is part of the wording of the ceremony itself. However, we also recognised that while we are training together, we can't walk the path for the other person. Nobody can do that as much as we may want to or try to. So we each practice in our own way and with the support of the other.

For this reason only, Gingerpig doesn't play as big a part in my blog as she does in my life. Maybe that will change, just as all things do, and our path of training will overlap more strongly in the future. In the meantime, I am grateful to her for being my wife, my friend and my companion.

In Gassho.

Moving Mountains and Baby Buddhas

We were very lucky and greatly honoured to have Rev. Mugo, author of the wonderful "Moving Mountains" blog, attend our wedding last year. She has passed through these parts on several occasions in recent years and I find it a disconcertingly wonderful experience. To have her there at such a significant moment in my life is something which I will probably always be grateful to her for. And now she has given me a mention in her own blog! I'm quite stunned at her words but I will hopefully calm down a little. I've had a slow start to my blog and this may be the encouragement I need to really get it going.

I have been away for a few days. I haven't yet got into the habit of posting in my blog that I am going to be away. I will try to do so in the future. I was away with my wife on a yoga weekend for people with M.E. (or C.F.S. - chronic fatigue sydrome). I don't have M.E. myself but was more than happy to join in with the yoga. I need all the exercise I can get especially at this time of year when all I want to do is sit inside in the warm. M.E. is very much a physical condition. However, I am of the opinion that there is a psychological aspect to it. In fact, I think the mind plays a part on most overtly physical conditions, including my own - Diabetes. You can be given quite detailed instructions about how to handle your condition but unless you are in the right frame of mind you either aren't going to follow those instructions to some degree or they may not affect you in the intended way. People with M.E. don't generally have such clear instructions. There are a number of treatments and techniques for "curing" M.E. but there is nothing that the medical profession universally regards as reliable. This makes it extra difficult to actually know what's best to do if you have this condition. Everybody has a different opinion, so how can you penetrate the fog that comes with M.E. to make up your own mind about how best to act?

In connection with this, I have been reading a book of talks given by the founder of the OBC, Rev. Master Jiyu-Kennet. She died before I had any association with the OBC so I never had the honour of meeting her. However her words live on in many places and I have found them helpful on many occasions. The text I was reading was a rather advanced subject: the "All is one and all is different". I won't attempt to explain this as I really don't understand it myself, certainly not on an intellectual level and I doubt I have the concept clear at any other level. However, one thing she said struck a chord. I'm strongly paraphrasing here, so please forgive me if I have got hold of the wrong end of the stick. In the All Is One, you may see all beings as a golden Buddha. In the All is Different, people are what they appear to be. If you see a tramp, you could just see them as a dirty, smelly tramp and maybe be disgusted by that. This isnt very helpful to the tramp. In the all is one, you may see them as manifesting the Buddha. This again may not be helpful to a tramp because how can you help such a creature? If you see the tramp as both, as a Buddha and as a tramp, then you can begin to see what this person may need.

And what this person may need may not be obvious. It may not be the best thing to do to charge in and help someone without consideration. They may be very grateful to you but you aren't giving them the tools to cope with the situation when you aren't there. I'm also aware that that statement in itself is a bit wrong. To act compassionately, you need to simply do what you feel is the best thing to do without trying to fix things. Without expecting a particular outcome. In other words, living in the moment. As you may be able to tell, I'm struggling with these concepts somewhat and have been for some years. I think I just wanted to say that the image of seeing someone in their very human frailties as well as seeing them as a baby Buddha I find very helpful in this respect. It's not yet the answer for me but it seems to be pointing in the right direction.